Sunday, March 8, 2009


...incidentally, i can't really stand that song.

i don't like david bowie.
while i'm at it, i don't like yes.
or chicago.
or boston.

they all kind of go in the same "nails-on-chalkboard" bucket for me. i don't know why. i can't really say, "i don't like them because of X." i'm just not that into them. it is what it is.

at any rate, i'm going through changes. sometimes i wonder if i will ever be allowed to sit still and enjoy my life where i am, and then i think, "oh yeah, remember the week before last when you felt so realxed? that was your chance."

so... quick update. i have lost 15 pounds since the beginning of the year. 15 pounds doesn't seem like too much sometimes, but it has been such a struggle and i have been so well-behaved that i am extremely proud of every single ounce and i don't take any of them for granted. and also? they can stay lost forever, as far as i am concerned.

i have also started working out 3 times a week. this was also a huge struggle. i joined my gym about a month and a half before i actually started GOING to it. so, now i go three times a week, and i love it. it helps that a few ladies at work joined after i did. although we don't necessarily go together, there is one woman in particular who will call me out on my workout habits in the breakroom, in front of whoever happens to be there. that helps - making sure i can always have a good answer handy. :)

there are always other changes, and things going on in the background, ideas for new directions... whatever. eric and i have been having a series of Serious Conversations. not about our relationship, but kind of pertaining to our future. he is studying to take the actuarial exam. he actually has a degree in mechanical engineering from cornell, but he's never had a chance to use it. so, he's expanding his options, in case he NEVER gets a chance to use it. he l-o-v-e-s math, and he checks calculus books and probability books out of the library and spends most of his free time doing problems. i mean - the man is dedicated. and, slightly unintelligible, the way he tries to explain his calculus victories to someone who barely passed trig and failed precalculus twice. and sometimes forgets how to do math involving fractions.

and i? speaking of math? am repeating the statement that i have repeated every year since 2002: i am going to study math and take the GRE. i have wanted to go to grad school since i knew it existed, but i never wanted to take the GRE, so i always looked for schools that didn't require it, which meant i narrowed my field to basically 2 in alabama. i jest, but really - it's quite limiting. and it's ridiculous that someone of my intelligence would let a test stand in the way of realizing her potential. not beating myself up, just making an observation.

there are other changes, too. but this post is long and i'm not always at liberty to say. stay tuned.