Wednesday, August 5, 2009

full moon fever

so, when i was trying to come up with a title for this post, i remembered that today is a full moon. also that i have an extreme obsession with tom petty that just won't die. the obsession. not tom petty. please let him live until i can walk up to him, shake his hand, and say, "thank you." because the man's music has saved me. i can't explain why.

and i feel good right now. maybe it IS the full moon, but the funk i have been fighting for the past month or so seems to be lifting. maybe i am still on an emotional high from getting engaged. although, i have to say, i was SHOCKED. shocked at the level of freak-outtery that occurred from other people when the news broke.

because i have known that we are getting married. eric and i talk about it all the time. what kind of "wedding" we want. future plans. kids or not. dogs or not. no cats (he's allergic. and honestly... i have really met some jerk cats.).

we have even been talking about when the proposal would be. and i had a hint of a feeling it would be on my birthday, because i asked for it. and it was more of a formality, since we have been conducting ourselves as if we have been engaged since, oh... the sixth day we were together.

and i just always knew we would be together, since the first day of our relationship, when we were behind mayers on my lunch break. and eric said, "i knew i wanted to be with you beause you have all of the qualities i was looking for in a wife." and i was done. because i had been wondering why i felt SO strongly that i was going to be with him. why i took our relationship so seriously. why, even though i had tried to fight getting into a relationship, i felt pulled to this man. and when i realized that he was putting me and wife together in the same sentence, i understood. the relationship was bigger than both of us. it was love, and it was meant to be.

so, i am happy. the man i love also loves me. as of today, we have been together for a year and a half. it's kind of hard to believe. in some ways it feels like we should still be counting "monthaversaries" and in some ways it has felt like a lifetime with him.

the more i know, the more i love.