Wednesday, September 23, 2009


i'm sure that not all of the people who read my blog know who dooce is. or, maybe you do. but i think it's just a lot of my friends on here who poke in every one in awhile to see how i'm doing. possibly read about something funny i have done or thought. maybe to read about a pretzel shaped like a poop. you know, normal stuff.

so, there is this blogger named dooce. well, her NAME is not dooce, but her site is named dooce. and people call her dooce. so, dooce.

anyway. i have been reading her blog since i lived in nashville, so i think that's something like... 5 years. that's a long time to have a blog, and it went on before that if i am correct. i am not going to be all about the dooce stats over here.

i can't remember how i stumbled upon the blog. i did, though, and i thought it was funny. at times irreverent. sometimes sad. hilarious. sweet. and often sarcastic, which really made me love it. and for this time, i have continued to like the blog because, to me, it is still inherently dooce. it has been fun to watch as she doles out little slices of her life and personal thoughts and struggles to the internet.

i often feel less alone in the world when i read blogs of strangers. it helps me to see that there are people out there who have similar thought processes to mine or who write things i could see myself writing if our lives were more alike. i have always identified with dooce because i hoped to have that sense of humor when i went through tough patches down the road.

but i have to remember this: just because you read someone's blog, you don't know that person. lately, the hate for dooce has been stuh-rong. like, offensive. and i like to think that it's not just because it's dooce, and i AM actually a fan and a supporter of her... but because i am just amazed at the gall of people who think that they need to pass judgment on parenting style, fashion sense, cuteness of kids, the level of love that a mom has for her children (!), personal appearance, you NAME it, this woman gets flak for it. but these people? they don't really even know her. neither do i. i just like the things she puts on her blog.

so, there are a couple of thoughts that keep coming up when i think about this. first of all, i remember that dooce decides what to put on the internet. this is part of the reason i admire her. i am 300% censored when i write my blog. i am aware of the people who are reading, i know who most of them are, and i am quite conscious of the effect that has on my writing. i do not open up. i don't post pictures. i don't write what i'm really thinking. so when she shares as much as she does, i think that's great. i appreciate it. i appreciate the guts it takes.

also, i am uncomfortable with the tone that people take when they are criticizing her. many of them seem to boil it all down to money or fame, and ignore the fact that there is a person feeling feelings on the other side of their keyboard. "beause you're famous, you need to put up with X, Y, and Z. you need to deal with this. you need to NOT do this. seriously, with the amount of money you make, do you really need to... blah, blah, blah. you suck. you're ugly. you love one kid more than the other."

since when is it appropriate to talk to people like that? and i have boiled down and summarized. the things i have written here actually sound kind compared to the original insults.

the insults are bad enough. they're mean. but to me, when you tie an insult to a comment about someone's supposed monthly income or their level of fame? you give yourself away. you have to be jealous. jealous that you don't have that money or fame.

and what people do with their money and fame is their business. since when do people care so much about what celebrities use their power to accomplish? think about this for a minute.

the internet is the easiest place to ignore someone. if you don't like what someone is writing about, what they look like, what they do with their free time or power or influence? you have the power. ignore it.

this is a principle that has worked for me in life in general, not just in blog reading. unless it's some evil in the world that must be stopped... like, oh, let's say, HUMAN TRAFFICKING, if i read about something that just kinda bugs me or gets under my skin? i just kind of let it fade away. if it has to do with another person i don't or never will be able to influence? i just kind of say, "eh. to each his own." this is why i can't get over the insults. i just don't understand it. it takes a LOT of energy to harbor that much judgment and hatred about someone, so much that you would seek this person out and send an e-mail or leave a comment telling them that they are a total douche in your opinion. and then KEEP doing it.

that's why i think that her monetizing the hate site is a great idea. it's difficcult to read. people are cruel. but i support the idea behind the site. anonymity gives people brazenness and "courage" that they would never have in person.... just look through the rants and raves on craigslist sometime. so i think that calling them out is fantastic.

when life hands you lemons, or rather, when the internet crams lemons down your throat? make lemonade.

go, dooce.