Thursday, February 5, 2009

one year

so, one year ago i was wandering around like an idiot with the world's biggest smile on my face.
this was the First Real Day of my relationship with eric, decided the night before in a series of emails that, if we printed them out, could paper an entire room. ok, at least an entire wall. emails that i will always treasure, because without them we never could have gotten together. i never could have asked him to his face, or even over the phone, if he had a crush on me. and i doubt that the rush of things that were professed in the following emails would have been said out loud, maybe not even to this day. i think our relationship is strong because we have always been able to communicate.
i have learned that when you take the time to really invest in a relationship and build it the right way from day one, then that relationship becomes freakishly strong. the past year has been one of the most difficult in my life in many ways... but not this one. we committed to each other from the start to be honest and to talk things through - even if we thought the other person wouldn't want to hear what we had to say. we didn't do it right all the time, but we always got around to it. i can honestly say that at this moment i have no nagging resentments toward him, i don't feel slighted, i'm not irritated. when something comes up, we talk it through, fight if necessary, i cry if necessary... and then we move on. we don't throw things in each other's faces. we don't keep score. we don't save up our resentments in order to make a giant tower of "i am right" or "you hurt me more."
we wake up every day and have a go at it. we enjoy each others friendship and company. we talk about our days. we encourage each other to try new things and to challenge ourselves. we cheerlead each other through the struggles and rough patches. we laugh - a lot. we fart and burp. we cook dinners together. we dream about the future together.
i have found in eric what i really never thought i deserved... love. i have learned so much about love from eric. he really loves, and it's hard for me to find the words to explain how i know that. i can't prove it. i just know it.
he is my best friend and a true partner.
he is my favorite person.
he is the love of my life.