Thursday, March 12, 2009

finding meaning

so, i have three tattoos.

i got my first, a gecko on my foot, when i was 20 or 21. it cost me $20 and i think of it as a scar of my rebellion. i've been able to assign a meaning to my other two tattoos, but i'm having a hard time with this one.

i decided after i got my first two tattoos that i wouldn't make any more rash or trendy tattoo decisions (probably the only reason i'm not covered in stars, flames, and chinese characters right now). i got the first two in 1998, and i got the third in 2007. my most recent was a butterfly on my neck, to symbolize growth and change. the tattoo below it is a waxing half-moon. i have assigned the meaning of "expectation" to that tattoo, although all it really meant when i got it was "cool, man... a moon made out of a celtic knot pattern." also, i am probably going to get it covered, as soon as i can justify the expense, with a giant lotus flower that ties in with the butterfly somehow.

i have been looking up what the gecko stands for. i've seen good luck, health, protection, honesty, wisdom, and quick action. i think all of those can apply to me, but i am struggling to assign a meaning to the gecko. it was much too painful getting a tattoo on my foot to even consider getting it covered. and, of all my tattoos, it's the one i see the most and like the least.

i want to associate a real meaning with it.