Thursday, January 14, 2010

Today, pain nearly got the best of me.

I woke up this morning with extreme neck pain. Not just "I slept funny" kind of pain. It was involuntary muscle spasm, doubled over in pain kind of pain.

I didn't know what to do. I couldn't move. I could barely blink. Or swallow. The slightest movement sent me into a spasm so painful that I had to cry out in pain. Tears were rolling down my face.

It was terrible. I can't imagine what it must be like to live with chronic pain. I kept trying to be strong, but the pain was just too much.

I applied heat and ice when I could. I rested in one of two positions. I took a LOT of advil. Eventually, when the spasms were about 10 minutes apart, I decided to brave the day and go to work. I thought it would be better for my neck if I got out and loosened it up a little bit.

And I must admit that it helped. However, I still have the original pain base, and I am so afraid that one false move and I will wake up tomorrow like I woke up today. It hurt so, so badly that I don't think I can go through that again.

I guess I finally found out that I have a low tolerance for extreme pain. As much as I want to be tough, the pain just cripples me. And crumples me. As my boss said today, "don't ever have a baby."